Abantu benshi bakunze kwibaza impamvu abantu bamaze igihe kirekire bakundana, ndetse bamwe bakaba barizeye ko bazabana, rimwe na rimwe birangira batandukanye ntibagire urugo bahuriyeho.
Iyo abantu babonye abakundanye imyaka myinshi batandukanye, hari abahita bibaza niba koko urukundo rwabo rwarabaye urw’ukuri. Ariko kuba umubano wararambye ntibihita bivuze ko uzarangirira mu kubana cyangwa mu ishyingiranwa.
Hari impamvu zitandukanye zishobora gutuma abantu bakundana by’ukuri ariko amaherezo ntibabane. Zimwe muri zo zishobora kuba zishingiye ku gihe, intego z’ubuzima, imitekerereze, umuryango ndetse n’uburyo buri umwe abona ahazaza.
1. Ntabwo buri mubano urangirira mu kubana
Kimwe mu bintu abantu bakwiye kumva ni uko kuba abantu babanye igihe kirekire atari garanti y’uko bazashyingiranwa.
Hari abatangira umubano kubera gukundana by’ukuri, ariko uko imyaka igenda ishira bakagenda basanga bafite intego zitandukanye cyangwa imyumvire idahuye ku bijyanye n’ahazaza.
Hari n’umubano ushobora gukomeza kubera ko abantu basanzwe bamenyeranye, bafite amateka menshi bahuriyeho cyangwa hari inyungu zitandukanye zibahuza, ariko urukundo rwo kubaka urugo rukagenda rugabanuka.
Ni yo mpamvu igihe umuntu amaze mu rukundo atari cyo cyonyine kigomba gushingirwaho mu kumenya niba abantu bazabana.
2. Bashobora kuba barakundanye igihe batari biteguye kubaka urugo
Hari abantu batangira gukundana bakiri bato cyangwa mu gihe umwe cyangwa bombi bataragira gahunda ihamye y’ubuzima.
Muri icyo gihe bashobora kuba bakundana cyane, bakishimana ndetse bakagira n’inzozi zo kuzabana. Ariko uko imyaka igenda ishira, buri umwe ashobora kugira izindi ntego cyangwa agahindura uko yabonaga ubuzima.
Umuntu ashobora kuba ashaka kubanza kwiga, kubona akazi, kwiteza imbere cyangwa kugera ku bindi byifuzo mbere yo gutangira umuryango.
Iyo igihe cyo gutangira urugo kigeze, bishobora gusanga bombi batagihuje icyerekezo.
Hari igitekerezo gikunze kugaragara ku mbuga nkoranyambaga kivuga ko abasore bamwe bashobora kutarongora umukobwa bakundanye igihe kirekire, ahubwo bagashaka uwo basanze hafi yabo igihe bageze ku gihe bumva biteguye gutangira umuryango.
Icyo ni igitekerezo kigomba gufatwa nk’uko cyatanzwe, kuko imyitwarire y’abantu n’imibanire yabo bitandukanye.
3. Kubana mbere y’ishyingiranwa bishobora guhindura uko umwe abona undi
Hari abantu bahitamo kubana mu nzu mbere yo gushyingiranwa, bakumva ko bizabafasha kumenyana neza.
Ku rundi ruhande, hari abahanga mu mibanire n’imitekerereze bagaragaza impungenge z’uko kubana igihe kirekire hataraba icyemezo cyo kubaka urugo bishobora gutuma umwe atabona impamvu yo gutera indi ntambwe.
Iyo abantu bamaze kumenyera ubuzima bwo kubana, umwe ashobora kumva ko nta bwihutirwa bwo gufata icyemezo cyo gushyingiranwa kuko ibintu byose bisa n’ibyaramaze kugera ku rwego yifuzaga.
Icy’ingenzi ni uko kubana ubwabyo atari garanti y’ishyingiranwa. Abantu bakwiye kuvugana ku byo buri umwe ashaka, igihe abona ko ari cyo cyo kubaka urugo n’intego bafite.
4. Inama z’inshuti n’ababyeyi zishobora kugira uruhare mu byemezo
Nubwo umuntu mukuru aba afite uburenganzira bwo gufata icyemezo ku buzima bwe, ibitekerezo by’abantu bamukikije bishobora kugira uruhare mu buryo afata ibyemezo.
Ababyeyi, inshuti n’abandi bantu umuntu yizera bashobora kugira ibitekerezo ku muntu akundana na we cyangwa ku wo bakwiye kuzabana.
Hari igihe umuntu ashobora gukomeza gukunda uwo bari kumwe ariko akagira amakenga kubera ko umuryango we cyangwa inshuti ze batamushyigikiye.
Iyo ibyo bitekerezo bimaze igihe, bishobora gutuma umubano ucika cyangwa umwe muri bo agatangira gutekereza ku kindi cyerekezo.
Ni yo mpamvu mu rukundo ruteganyirizwa kuzavamo urugo, ari ngombwa ko abantu baganira ku buryo bazahuza imiryango yabo n’ibyifuzo byabo bwite.
5. Umuntu ashobora kuba akwiriye ubuzima bw’ubu ariko ntabe ari we yifuza mu hazaza
Hari igihe umuntu aba afite uwo bakundana umufasha muri gahunda z’ubuzima arimo muri icyo gihe, ariko uko ubuzima bwe buhinduka akabona ko akeneye ibintu bitandukanye.
Urugero, umusore ashobora kuba akiri mu rugendo rwo gushaka akazi keza, kuzamuka mu kazi, kwiga cyangwa kwiteza imbere. Muri icyo gihe ashobora gukenera umuntu umushyigikira kandi bakagendana muri urwo rugendo.
Iyo ageze ku byo yifuzaga, ashobora gutangira kugira izindi ntego ku bijyanye n’umuntu ashaka ko bazabana n’uburyo yifuza ko urugo rwe ruzaba rumeze.
Ibi bishobora gutuma umubano wari umaze imyaka myinshi uhinduka, nubwo mbere abantu bombi baba barakundanye by’ukuri.
6. Urukundo rushobora kuba ruhari ariko intego z’ubuzima ntizihure
Kuba abantu bakundana ntibisobanuye ko bahuje byose.
Umwe ashobora kuba ashaka abana vuba, undi akifuza kubanza kwiteza imbere. Umwe ashobora gushaka gutura mu mujyi, undi akifuza gutura hafi y’umuryango we.
Umwe ashobora gushyira imbere akazi, undi agashyira imbere kubaka urugo.
Iyo itandukaniro nk’iri rikomeje kubaho kandi abantu ntibashobore kurihurizaho, urukundo rushobora kuba ruhari ariko umubano ntugere ku cyiciro cyo kubana.
7. Amasezerano yo kubana ashobora kudahura n’ibikorwa
Hari abantu bamara imyaka myinshi babwirana ko bazabana, ariko ntihagire igikorwa gifatika gikurikira ayo magambo.
Umwe ashobora gukomeza gutegereza ko undi azafata icyemezo, mu gihe undi akomeza gusubika.
Iyo gusubika bimaze igihe, uwategerezaga ashobora kurambirwa cyangwa agatangira kubona ko amagambo atajyana n’ibikorwa.
Urukundo rukomeye rusaba kuvugana, kumvikana no kugira icyerekezo gihuriweho, cyane cyane iyo abantu bafite intego yo kuzashingira urugo
Kuba abantu barakundanye imyaka myinshi si byo byonyine bigaragaza ko bagomba kubana. Urukundo ni ingenzi, ariko kubaka urugo bisaba n’ibindi birimo icyerekezo gihuriweho, ubwumvikane, kwizerana, gufata inshingano no kumenya igihe buri umwe yiteguye.
Ntabwo buri rukundo ruramba rugomba kurangirira mu ishyingiranwa, kandi gutandukana kw’abantu bamaze igihe bakundana ntibihita bisobanura ko batigeze bakundana by’ukuri.
Hari igihe abantu bakundana by’ukuri ariko ubuzima bukabageza ahantu hatandukanye.
Icy’ingenzi ni uko umuntu atagomba gushingira ku myaka amaze akundana n’umuntu gusa, ahubwo akareba niba bombi bafite icyerekezo kimwe, niba biteguye kubaka urugo kandi niba ibikorwa byabo bihuye n’amagambo bavuga.
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