Uko Wakwitandukanya n’Umukunzi Ugukoresha mu Nyungu Ze

Ubushakashatsi bushya bwagaragaje ko abantu bakoresha abo bakundana mu nyungu zabo bashobora gutuma umubano uba umutwaro, ugasiga uwo bakoresha yumva adafite ijambo, ananiwe ndetse atishimye. Impuguke zivuga ko kumenya ibimenyetso by’iyo myitwarire no gufata ingamba hakiri kare bishobora kurinda umubano gusenyuka cyangwa kurinda umuntu gukomeza kubaho mu buzima bumubangamiye.

Mu buzima bwa buri munsi, hari abantu usanga bahora basaba abo bakundana kubakorera ibintu byinshi, bakabatera ipfunwe cyangwa bakabumvisha ko nibatabyubahiriza baba batabakunda. Ibi ni bimwe mu bimenyetso by’imyitwarire yo gukoresha undi mu nyungu zawe, ibintu bishobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye ku mubano.

Mu nyandiko yasohowe ku wa 16 Kamena 2026, umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu, Susan Krauss Whitbourne, yagarutse ku bushakashatsi bwakozwe na Meredith Turner bwo gusuzuma uburyo abantu bafite imyitwarire yo kugenzura no gukoresha abandi bagira ingaruka ku mubano.

Imyitwarire yo gukoresha abandi ituruka he?

Ubushakashatsi bwa Turner bugaragaza ko abantu bakunda gukoresha abandi mu nyungu zabo akenshi baba bafite imyitwarire ijyanye no gushaka kugenzura abandi, kubeshya cyangwa gukoresha amarangamutima yabo kugira ngo bagere ku nyungu zabo bwite.

Iyi myitwarire ishobora kugaragara mu buryo butandukanye. Hari igihe umuntu yumvisha mugenzi we ko agomba gukora ibyo amusabye byose kugira ngo agaragaze urukundo. Hari n’igihe amutera ubwoba bwo gutereranwa cyangwa kumwanga niba atubahirije ibyo ashaka.

Ubushakashatsi bwasesenguye abantu hafi ibihumbi 11

Turner yatangiye asesengura inyandiko zirenga 6,500 z’ubushakashatsi butandukanye, ariko nyuma yo gukuramo izituzujuje ibisabwa, hasigara ubushakashatsi 16 bwonyine bwifashishijwe.

Ubu bushakashatsi bwahuje amakuru y’abitabiriye bagera hafi ku 11,000, bugamije kureba isano iri hagati yo gukoresha abandi mu nyungu zawe n’ubwiza bw’umubano.

Ibyavuyemo byagaragaje ko abantu bafite imyitwarire yo kugenzura abandi no kubakoresha mu nyungu zabo bagira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma umubano ugira ibibazo. By’umwihariko, hagaragaye ko imyitwarire izwi nka Machiavellianism aho umuntu ashaka kugera ku nyungu ze akoresheje amayeri no kugenzura abandi ifitanye isano ikomeye n’imibanire mibi.

Ubushakashatsi kandi bwagaragaje ko imyaka, igitsina cyangwa ubwoko bw’umubano bitagira uruhare runini muri iki kibazo. Ni ukuvuga ko umuntu wese ashobora kugwa mu mutego w’umuntu umukoresha mu nyungu ze.

Kuki iyi myitwarire yangiza umubano?

Abashakashatsi bavuga ko umubano mwiza ushingira ku kwizerana, kubahana no kwita ku nyungu za buri wese. Iyo umwe mu bakundana ahora ashaka inyungu ze gusa, undi atangira kumva ko ibyo akora bidahabwa agaciro.

Ibi bishobora gutuma habaho umunaniro wo mu mutwe, kutishimira umubano ndetse no gutakaza icyizere hagati y’abakundana.

Nubwo umuntu ukunda gukoresha abandi ashobora kubona ibyo ashaka mu gihe gito, uko igihe kigenda cyicuma, uwo mubano utangira gusenyuka kubera ko icyizere n’urukundo bigenda bigabanuka.

Ibimenyetso byo kwitondera

Impuguke zigaragaza ko umuntu ashobora kuba ari mu mubano urimo gukoreshwa mu nyungu z’undi igihe:Ahora asabwa gukora byinshi kurusha ibyo ahabwa.

• Yumvishwa ko ari umunyabyaha igihe yanze ibyo asabwe.

• Atinya kuvuga ibitekerezo bye.

• Yumva adafite uburenganzira bwo gufata ibyemezo bye bwite.

• Ahora yumva agomba kunezeza mugenzi we kurusha uko yita ku byifuzo bye.

Uko wakwitabara

Abahanga mu mitekerereze bavuga ko intambwe ya mbere ari ukumenya ko ikibazo gihari. Umuntu agomba kwisuzuma akareba niba ibyo atanga mu mubano bihwanye n’ibyo ahabwa.

Iyo ikibazo gikomeje, kuganira n’umukunzi wawe ku buryo bwubaka bishobora gufasha. Ariko niba nta gihinduka, ni ngombwa gushyiraho imbibi no kurengera uburenganzira bwawe.

Mu gihe ikibazo gikomeje kuba gikomeye, kugisha inama impuguke cyangwa abantu bizewe bishobora gufasha gufata icyemezo kiboneye.

Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko umubano urangwa no gukoresha umwe mu bawugize mu nyungu z’undi udashobora kuramba igihe kirekire. Kumenya agaciro kawe, kuvuga ibyo ukeneye no gushyiraho imbibi ni bimwe mu byafasha umuntu kwirinda kugwa cyangwa kuguma mu mubano umubuza kubaho mu bwisanzure no mu byishimo.