Ese koko Gukururwa n’undi Muntu byaba ikimenyetso cy’uko utanyuzwe n’uwo Mukundana ? Sobanukirwa

Hari abantu benshi bemera ko urukundo nyarwo rudasiga umwanya wo gukururwa n’undi muntu. Batekereza ko iyo umuntu akunda by’ukuri, umutima we uba ufunze ku bandi bose. Nyamara, ubushakashatsi bwo muri siyansi y’imitekerereze ya muntu (Psychology) bugaragaza ko ibintu bitajya biba gutyo.

Mu nyandiko yasohotse ku wa 20 Kamena 2026, umushakashatsi mu by’amarangamutima, Aaron Ben-Ze’ev, yasobanuye ko gukururwa n’undi muntu atari ikimenyetso gihita kigaragaza ko urukundo rwashize cyangwa ko umubano uri mu kaga. Ahubwo yavuze ko ari amarangamutima asanzwe ashobora kubaho no ku bantu bakundana cyane kandi bishimye.

Gukururwa n’undi muntu si ko gutandukana n’urukundo

Abantu benshi bahuza gukururwa n’undi muntu n’ubuhemu, ariko Aaron Ben-Ze’ev agaragaza ko ibyo ari ibintu bibiri bitandukanye.

Yasobanuye ko gukururwa n’undi muntu ari amarangamutima ashobora kuza umuntu atabihisemo, mu gihe ubuhemu bwo ari igikorwa umuntu ahitamo gukora nyuma yo kugira ayo marangamutima.

Mu yandi magambo, umuntu ashobora kubona undi muntu amushimishije cyangwa akamukurura, ariko agahitamo kutagira icyo abikoraho kubera urukundo n’inshingano afitiye uwo bakundana.

Nk’uko kurakara bidahita bivamo urugomo, no gukururwa n’undi muntu ntibihita bivamo ubuhemu.

Uko ibishuko by’urukundo biza

Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko amarangamutima ya muntu akunda gukangurwa n’ibintu bishya. Iyo umuntu abonye umuntu mushya, mwiza cyangwa ufite imyitwarire imushimisha, ubwonko bushobora kubyitaho.

Ibi ni byo bituma umuntu ashobora kuba akunda umugore cyangwa umugabo we cyane ariko agasanga hari undi muntu wamushimishije.

Abashakashatsi bavuga ko ibi biterwa n’imiterere karemano y’ubwonko bwa muntu bwubakiwe ku kwitondera ibintu bishya bishobora kugira ingaruka ku mibereho ye.

Ubwoko bubiri bwo gukururwa

Abahanga bagaragaza ko gukururwa n’undi muntu bishobora kubaho mu buryo bubiri bw’ingenzi.

Ubwa mbere ni gukururwa ku mubiri, aho umuntu abona undi muntu ari mwiza cyangwa akumva amukunda kubera isura, imiterere cyangwa igikundiro.

Ubwa kabiri ni gukururwa ku marangamutima, aho umuntu yumva hari undi muntu umwumva, umwitaho cyangwa umuha agaciro mu buryo budasanzwe.

Abahanga bavuga ko rimwe na rimwe gukururwa ku marangamutima bishobora kugira imbaraga kurusha gukururwa ku mubiri kuko biba byubakiye ku kumvikana no gusangira ibitekerezo.

Imbuga nkoranyambaga zongereye ibishuko

Muri iki gihe cy’ikoranabuhanga, abantu bahura n’abandi benshi kurusha uko byahoze.

Imbuga nkoranyambaga nka Facebook, Instagram, TikTok cyangwa X zatumye abantu babasha kuganira no kwegerana n’abo batari gusanzwe bahura na bo.

Ibi byatumye amahirwe yo guhura n’abantu bashobora gukurura amarangamutima yiyongera, ndetse bamwe bakisanga batangiye kugirana umubano wihariye n’abandi bantu bari hanze y’abo bakundana.

Abantu benshi babyumva ariko ntibabikurikize

Mu bitekerezo byakusanyijwe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga, abagore batandukanye bavuze ko kuba umuntu akururwa n’undi atari ikibazo gikomeye keretse igihe ahisemo kubikurikiza.

Umwe yagize ati: “Hari igihe ubona umuntu mwiza cyangwa ukumva umukunzeho gato nubwo wishimye mu rukundo rwawe.”

Undi yavuze ati: “Ntabwo nahitamo kwiruka inyuma y’akanyamuneza k’akanya gato kandi nsanzwe mfite urukundo rukomeye.”

Hari n’uwagize ati: “Njye n’umugabo wanjye twigeze kugira abo dukunda hanze y’urugo, ariko twahisemo kutabikurikiza kuko twubaha umubano wacu.”

Kwirinda biruta kurwanya

Ubushakashatsi bwerekana ko abantu bafite ubushobozi bwo kwifata neza badategereza ko ibishuko bibanza gukomera.

Ahubwo bagerageza kwirinda ibihe n’ahantu bishobora kubashyira mu bibazo.

Ibi bishobora kuba:

• Kwirinda ibiganiro byihariye bishobora guteza amarangamutima.
• Kutamara igihe kinini n’umuntu ubona agukurura.
• Gushyira imbaraga nyinshi mu kubaka urukundo no kuganira n’uwo mukundana.
• Kwibanda ku ntego z’umuryango n’ejo hazaza.

Abashakashatsi bavuga ko abantu bakora ibi batagerwaho cyane n’ibishuko kurusha abategereza kubirwanya byamaze gukura.

Ese gukururwa n’undi muntu bivuze ko mutishimye?

Oya.

Abahanga bavuga ko n’abari mu rukundo rwiza cyane bashobora rimwe na rimwe kubona abandi bantu babashimisha.

Icy’ingenzi ntabwo ari ukutagira ibishuko, ahubwo ni uburyo umuntu ahitamo kubyitwaramo.

Umuntu ushima umubano afitanye n’uwo bakundana azahitamo kurinda uwo mubano aho gukurikira amarangamutima y’akanya gato.

Urukundo nyarwo ntirusobanura ko umuntu atazongera kubona abandi bantu beza cyangwa bashimishije. Ahubwo rusobanura ubushake bwo gukomeza guhitamo uwo mukundana buri munsi, n’iyo haba hari ibishuko.

Nk’uko Aaron Ben-Ze’ev abivuga, ikinyuranyo cy’urukundo si ugukururwa n’undi muntu, ahubwo ni ukutita ku wo mukundana.

Bityo rero, umubano ukomeye si uw’abantu batigera bumva ibishuko, ahubwo ni uw’abahora bahitamo kurinda urukundo rwabo no kurushyira imbere y’ibindi byose.