Mbere yo kurushinga, abakobwa bakwiye kumenya ibi bintu 7 by’ingenzi

Gushyingirwa ni intambwe ikomeye mu buzima bw’umuntu, ikaba isaba gutekereza neza, kumenya uwo mugiye kubana no gusobanukirwa inshingano z’abashakanye. Abantu bamaze imyaka myinshi mu ishyingiranwa bavuga ko ibiganiro, kwihangana, kubahana no gufashanya ari bimwe mu byubaka urugo rurambye.

Gushyingiranwa ni ubufatanye

Abantu bafite uburambe mu buzima bw’ishyingiranwa bavuga ko mbere yo kurushinga, ari ngombwa ko abagiye kubana baganira ku ntego zabo ndetse n’uburyo bazafashanya kuzigeraho.

Bavuga ko buri muntu akwiye kugira ibyo ashaka kugeraho mu buzima, yaba mu kazi, mu burezi, mu bucuruzi, mu muryango cyangwa mu bindi bikorwa bimufitiye akamaro.

Kuba abashakanye ari abafatanyabikorwa bisobanuye ko batagomba kurebera ku byo buri umwe ashaka kugeraho ku giti cye gusa, ahubwo bakwiye no kureba uko bashyigikirana.

Umwe mu bagize inama kuri iki kibazo yagize ati: “Gushyingiranwa ni ubufatanye. Buri muntu agomba kumenya aho ashaka ko ubuzima bwe bujya n’uburyo yafasha undi kugera ku ntego ze.”

Ntukagereranye urugo rwawe n’urw’abandi

Bilkisu Dahiru, umukecuru w’imyaka 71 umaze imyaka 50 yubatse, avuga ko ishyingiranwa risaba kwihangana, ubwumvikane n’ubudahemuka.

Mu nama agira abakobwa bitegura kurushinga harimo kubasaba kwirinda kugereranya ingo zabo n’iz’abandi.

Avuga ko buri rugo rugira imimerere yarwo, ibibazo byarwo ndetse n’uburyo rwabaho. Kubera iyo mpamvu, umugore cyangwa umugabo ntakwiye gupima intsinzi y’urugo rwe ashingiye ku byo abona mu rugo rw’abandi.

Ibyo abantu berekana hanze ntibihora bihuye n’ibibera mu buzima bwabo bwite. Ni yo mpamvu abagiye kubaka ingo basabwa kwibanda ku kubaka umubano wabo aho guhora bareba uko abandi babayeho.

Kwihangana ni ngombwa, ariko bifite aho bigarukira

Bilkisu avuga kandi ko abashakanye bagomba kugira kwihangana kuko baba bakomoka mu miryango itandukanye, bafite imico itandukanye ndetse n’uburyo butandukanye bwo kubona ibintu.

Iyo abantu babiri batangiye kubana, bisaba igihe kugira ngo bamenyane neza, bamenye ibyo buri umwe akunda n’ibyo yanga, ndetse banamenye uburyo bwo gukemura amakimbirane.

Ariko, kwihangana ntibigomba gufatwa nk’impamvu yo kwemera ihohoterwa.

Uyu mukecuru ashimangira ko kwihanganirana bidakwiriye kuba urwitwazo rwo kwemera ihohoterwa cyangwa ikindi kintu cyose gitesha umuntu agaciro n’icyubahiro.

Menya kuvuga no gutega amatwi

Abafite uburambe mu ishyingiranwa bavuga ko itumanaho ari imwe mu nkingi zikomeye z’urugo.

Abagiye kurushinga basabwa kwiga kuvuga ibibabangamiye mu buryo butuje, aho kubika ibibazo byose kugeza ubwo bihinduka amakimbirane akomeye.

Ariko kandi, kuvuga gusa ntibihagije. Umuntu agomba no kumenya gutega amatwi mugenzi we.

Umwe mu bageze mu zabukuru yagize ati: “Abakobwa bagomba kwiga kuvuga no gutega amatwi, kuko abashakanye bagomba kuganira ku bibazo batuje mu gihe batega amatwi abandi kugira ngo barusheho kumvikana.”

Gutega amatwi mugenzi wawe bishobora gufasha kumenya impamvu y’ikibazo, aho guhita ushinja cyangwa ugasubiza uburakari ku burakari.

Shaka abantu bagira inama nziza

Abakobwa bitegura kurushinga bagirwa inama yo kugira abantu bizewe bashobora kubafasha mu gihe bahuye n’ikibazo.

Abo bashobora kuba abo mu muryango, inshuti zizewe cyangwa abajyanama bafite uburambe mu buzima.

Icyakora, kugira abantu bagira inama ntibivuze ko buri kibazo cyose cy’abashakanye kigomba gushyirwa hanze.

Ni ngombwa kumenya umuntu ukwiriye kuganiriza ikibazo runaka, cyane cyane ko hari ibibazo bishobora gukemurwa n’abashakanye ubwabo binyuze mu biganiro.

Ntukarushinge kubera igitutu

Abamaze igihe mu ishyingiranwa baburira abakobwa kwirinda gufata icyemezo cyo gushyingirwa kubera igitutu cy’umuryango, inshuti cyangwa urungano.

Hari igihe umukobwa ashobora kubona abo bangana barashatse, agatangira kumva ko na we agomba guhita ashaka umugabo kugira ngo ataba inyuma yabo.

Ariko abatanga inama bavuga ko ishyingiranwa ritagomba kuba irushanwa.

Umuntu akwiye kurushinga kubera ko yiteguye kandi yabanje gusuzuma neza uwo agiye kubana na we, aho kurushinga kubera gutinya ibyo abandi bazavuga.

Bilkisu aburira ko gushyingirwa umuntu atiteguye cyangwa kubera igitutu bishobora gutuma umuntu yinjira mu buzima bushobora kumubera ububabare.

Menya uwo mushaka kubana na we

Sadiya Suleiman avuga ko nta muntu ushobora guhanura ibintu byose bizaba mu ishyingiranwa.

Nubwo bimeze bityo, umuntu ashobora kwitegura neza asuzuma witonze imico y’uwo ashaka kurushingana na we.

Mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo kubana, ni ngombwa kuganira ku ngingo z’ingenzi z’ubuzima, zirimo imishinga y’ahazaza, imikoreshereze y’amafaranga, inshingano zo mu rugo, imibanire n’imiryango yombi ndetse n’uburyo bwo gukemura ibibazo.

Ibiganiro nk’ibi bishobora gufasha buri umwe kumenya neza ibyo undi ategereje ku ishyingiranwa.

Urugo rwiza rusaba uruhare rwa bombi

Inama y’ingenzi ihurirwaho n’abafite uburambe ni uko kubaka urugo atari inshingano z’umugore cyangwa umugabo umwe.

Abashakanye bombi bagomba kugira uruhare mu kubaka umubano wabo, gufata ibyemezo, gukemura ibibazo no gushyigikirana.

Gushyingiranwa ntibivuze ko umuntu umwe aba umuyobozi w’ibintu byose undi akaba umukurikiye. Ahubwo ni ubufatanye busaba kubahana no kumva ko buri umwe afite agaciro n’intego ze.

Ku bakobwa bitegura kurushinga, izi nama zigaragaza ko icy’ingenzi atari ukureba gusa igihe cyo gukora ubukwe, ahubwo ari no gutekereza ku buzima buzaza nyuma y’ubukwe.

Kwiyumvamo, kuganira ku ngingo z’ingenzi, kumenya imico y’uwo ushaka kubana na we, kwirinda igitutu no gushaka inama ku bantu bizewe bishobora gufasha umuntu kwinjira mu ishyingiranwa yiteguye neza.