Burya uburyo ababyeyi bashimiramo abana babo bushobora kubagiraho ingaruka!

Ababyeyi benshi bifuza ko abana babo bakura bafite icyizere, ubushobozi bwo kwigirira ikizere ndetse no kumva bakunzwe. Ni yo mpamvu akenshi babashimira iyo bakoze neza, babonye amanota meza ku ishuri, batsinze umukino, bakoze igishushanyo cyiza cyangwa bakoze ikintu gishimisha umuryango.

Ariko ubushakashatsi mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu bugaragaza ko atari amashimwe yose agira akamaro kangana. Uburyo umubyeyi ashima umwana bushobora kumufasha gukura neza mu mitekerereze, cyangwa bukagira ingaruka ku buryo yibona no ku bushake bwo gukomeza kwiga no kugerageza.

Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze bavuga ko ikibazo atari ugushima abana, ahubwo ari uburyo bwo kubikora.

Gushima bigomba kwerekana icyo umwana yakoze nezaIyo umwana asangiye igikinisho na murumuna we, ababyeyi benshi bahita bavuga bati: “Wakoze neza” cyangwa “Ndakwishimiye.”

Nubwo ayo magambo aba afite intego nziza, ntabwo buri gihe afasha umwana kumenya neza igikorwa cyatumye ashimwa.

Ahubwo umubyeyi ashobora kuvuga ati: “Nabonye ko wahaye murumuna wawe igikinisho cyawe nubwo nawe wari ugishaka gukinisha. Ibyo byari ubupfura n’ubugwaneza.”

Ubu buryo bufasha umwana kumenya neza imyitwarire igomba gusubirwamo. Amenya ko ubwitange, gusangira, kwihangana cyangwa gufasha abandi ari byo byatumye ashimwa.

Igihe cyo gushima gifite uruhare runini

Abana biga neza iyo igitekerezo cyangwa igikorwa cyo kubashimira kibaye hafi y’igihe bakoze icyo gikorwa.

Urugero, umwana wibutse gushyira imyenda ye ahabugenewe cyangwa uwatangiye gukora umukoro atabibukijwe, iyo ashimwe ako kanya ahuza icyo yakoze n’ingaruka nziza zabyo.

Iyo imyitwarire myiza imaze kuba akamenyero, ababyeyi bashobora kugabanya amashimwe ahoraho kugira ngo umwana atangira kubona agaciro ko gukora neza atari ugushaka gushimwa gusa, ahubwo ari ukubera ko yumva ari inshingano cyangwa ko bimushimisha.

Gushima umuhate kurusha impano kamere

Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze bagaragaza ko uburyo umwana abwirwa ko ari umuhanga bushobora kugira uruhare ku buryo afata ibibazo n’amakosa.

Hari itandukaniro hagati yo kuvuga:”Uri umuhanga cyane.”nko kuvuga:”Wakoze cyane kandi wabonye igisubizo kubera uko wihatiye.”

Mu buryo bwa mbere, umwana ashobora gutangira kumva ko agomba guhora agaragara nk’umuntu udakora amakosa. Iyo ahuye n’ikibazo gikomeye ashobora kugira ubwoba bwo kunanirwa.

Ariko iyo ashimwe ku muhate, ku kwihangana no ku rugendo rwo kwiga, amenya ko ubushobozi bushobora gukura binyuze mu myitozo no kudacika intege.Ibi ni byo abahanga bita “growth mindset”, ni ukuvuga imyumvire yo kwemera ko umuntu ashobora kongera ubushobozi bwe binyuze mu kwiga no gukora cyane.

Amashimwe agomba kuba ay’ukuri

Abana bafite ubushobozi bwo kumenya igihe amashimwe atari ay’ukuri cyangwa arenze urugero. Kubwira umwana buri gihe uti: “Uri umwana w’umuhanga kurusha abandi bose.” cyangwa “Igishushanyo cyawe ni cyo cyiza kurusha ibindi byose.” bishobora gutuma umwana yumva agomba guhora ari ku rwego rwo hejuru, ndetse akagira ubwoba bwo gukora amakosa.

Ikindi amashimwe afatika arushaho kumwongera imbaraga.

Urugero: “Nakunze uburyo washyizemo ibisobanuro byinshi muri iki gishushanyo.” cyangwa “Nabonye ko wihanganye nubwo icyo kibazo cyari kigoye.” Aya magambo agaragaza ko umubyeyi yitaye ku mbaraga n’umurava w’umwana.

Iyo amashimwe abaye menshi bishobora kugira ingaruka

Hari ababyeyi batekereza ko gushima abana buri gihe ari byo bituma bagira icyizere. Ariko amashimwe arenze urugero ashobora kugira ingaruka zitandukanye.

Iyo buri gikorwa cyose cyitwa “cyiza cyane”, “ntagereranywa” cyangwa “gitangaje”, umwana ashobora gutangira kwibaza niba ayo magambo ari ay’ukuri.

Bamwe bashobora gutinya gukora amakosa kuko baba bumva bafite isura yo guhora ari beza. Abandi bagatangira gutegereza gushimwa buri gihe nubwo batashyizemo imbaraga.

Icyizere nyacyo ntikiva ku kumva ko ibyo umuntu akora byose ari byiza, ahubwo kiva ku kumenya ko ashobora gukemura ibibazo no kwiga ku makosa.

Uburyo bwo gushima bugomba guhinduka uko umwana akura

Abana bato bakeneye amashimwe ahita aboneka igihe biga ibintu bishya nko gusangira, gutunganya ibintu cyangwa kwiyitaho.

Ku bana bakuze, amashimwe akwiye kwibanda ku ndangagaciro nk’ubushake, inshingano, kwihangana no gukemura ibibazo.

Ku rubyiruko, ababyeyi bashobora kwibanda ku mico yabo kurusha ibisubizo gusa.

Aho kuvuga bati:”Ndakwishimiye kuko wabonye amanota menshi.”bashobora kuvuga bati:”Nabonye ukuntu wateguye neza amasomo yawe kandi ukagira umuhate. Ibyo byatanze umusaruro.” Ibi bifasha umwana kumenya ko agaciro ke katagengwa n’amanota cyangwa intsinzi gusa.

Gushima no gushimira birushaho gukomera iyo bihujwe

Hari itandukaniro hagati yo gushima ibyo umwana yakoze no kumwereka ko afite agaciro nk’umuntu.

Urugero, umwana akoze ikarita y’impano ku mubyeyi, aho kuvuga gusa ngo: “Wakoze neza.” Umubyeyi ashobora kuvuga ati: “Nabonye igihe n’umutima washyize muri iyi karita. Urakoze kunyibuka, ndishimira cyane kuba mfite umwana nkawe.” Ibi bituma umwana yumva akunzwe kubera uwo ari we, atari kubera ibyo agezeho gusa.

Nta mubyeyi ushobora kuba intungane buri gihe. Hari igihe umuntu ahita avuga ati “Wakoze neza” kubera kwihuta cyangwa umunaniro.Ariko uburyo bwo gushima abana bushobora kuba igikoresho gikomeye mu kubafasha gukura bafite icyizere, kwihangana no kumva bafite agaciro.

Amashimwe meza agomba kuba asobanutse, ay’ukuri, yibanda ku muhate kandi akagaragaza urukundo. Iyo bikozwe neza, ntabwo aba amagambo yo gushimisha gusa, ahubwo aba uburyo bwo kubaka imitekerereze y’umwana no kumufasha kuzaba umuntu ushoboye guhangana n’ubuzima.

Src: Psychology Today